If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude i'm inner monologue high
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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