Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
