Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
