I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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