I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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