I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
