did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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