Im at strip club and am horny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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