dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
