Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Boobs speak an international language.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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