I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
