problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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