the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
