For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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