And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
