Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
