Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I need help removing her.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize