Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
