Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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