one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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