does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
