the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize