Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
