omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
