i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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