I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
