Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize