I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize