This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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