I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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