All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
