Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
