Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize