the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
