I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
