im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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