everyone is single if you try hard enough
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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