do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
