i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
