so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
