Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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