i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
