Kiss
Puke
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize