I think i peed on brittanys purse
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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