There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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