U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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