Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
