i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
