I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He passed out mid-signature
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we should paint friendship bongs
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