i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
