he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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