And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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