can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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