put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
