Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
