It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
