My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
