We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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