dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
