there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
