We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am available for nakedness
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
