Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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