my vag is so smooth its legendary
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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