I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
